It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
