Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
