So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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