Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize