Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Randomize
