I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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