thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Randomize
