better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
