We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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