i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
