Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
