why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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