so explain again why im purple
no
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
