Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
