the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
