my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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