She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
