Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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