I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
