Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
