I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize