TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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