Dual....:-)
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
