You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
