it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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