is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My dick has a subreddit
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Randomize
