I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
