Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
