i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
