They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
