Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
