DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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