The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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