In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
