Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
