I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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