He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
