I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
