I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
