he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
