Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
worst night to have a conscience
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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