we have pet lesbian snakes
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize