I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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