I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
