Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
