Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
