I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
