kristin has been a bad kristin
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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