how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
