i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
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