They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
