Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
