Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
