it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
