it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
