Your face is a jimmy john
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
