Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
