Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
