You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
