ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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