Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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