I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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